


the Memes™️

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Everyone is LGBT, F/F, F/M, M/M, fuckery and memes, pining klance, pining romellura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-13 10:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17486570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A voltron chatfic between Play the Cards parts one and two, with hinted Klance, Romellura, past and future Adashi. Also, current Aczor, Zerti, Leifsdottir/Rizavi and Griffin/Kinkade.Sorry to abandon, but





	1. fuckery and memes

**Author's Note:**

> Basically all you have to know is that this ties into my other fic, Play the Cards. But you can read it as a stand-alone. 
> 
> Soki is my own original character and Keith/Acxa/Shiro's sister. She wields powers similar to Haggar's. Catherine is a character I made up solely to be Veronica's wife, and the reason Romelle's name is mechanic lady is that I headcanon that she was a mechanic on the Colony. 
> 
> That's really it! Enjoy this crack.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bois get up to shit over a Garrison-monitored communication channel. What could go wrong?

_Lance Serrano-McClain created The G-Squad. Lance Serrano-McClain added Takashi Shirogane and 17 others to The G-Squad. Lance Serrano-McClain changed their name to lancey-lance._

lancey-lance: what’s up fuckers

_Keith Kogane entered the chat.  
Keith Kogane changed their name to knife boi._

knife boi: what is this

lancey-lance: what do you think it is

lancey-lance: it’s a group chat

_Katie Holt entered the chat.  
Katie Holt changed their name to pidgeon. _

pidgeon: why lance

pidgeon: this is gonna become memes and shitposts real quick 

_Hunk Garrett entered the chat.  
Hunk Garrett changed their name to sunshine._

sunshine: oh no

pidgeon: that’s what I said

lancey-lance: that’s what she said

_Takashi Shirogane entered the chat.  
Takashi Shirogane changed their name to Shiro._

Shiro: is this going to end up disappointing me

pidgeon: probably

_Nadia Rizavi entered the chat.  
Nadia Rizavi changed their name to that pan bitch. _

that pan bitch: ooh group chat

that pan bitch: this is like the one us MFEs have excpt nobody ever talks on that one

pidgeon: ohhhh you’re rizavi 

sunshine: hey you’re pan too!

lancey-lance: are any of us straight though

sunshine: fair point

_James Griffin entered the chat.  
James Griffin changed their name to idiot. _

idiot: okay why is this a thing

idiot: like who authorized this

lancey-lance: i did

knife boi: fuck off griffin 

pidgeon: oooh burn

idiot: why are you like this

_Acxa Kogane entered the chat.  
Acxa Kogane changed their name to aux cord._

aux cord: oh this is bad

aux cord: lotor made a group chat once

_Ezor entered the chat.  
Ezor changed their name to rose backwards._

rose backwards: it ended in literal flames 

that pan bitch: same honestly

idiot: how is that at all relatable

that pan bitch: cause some of you have never set yourself on fire

lancey-lance: damn rizavi

knife boi: okay she’s cool

_Ina Leifsdottir entered the chat.  
Ina Leifsdottir changed their name to angel wings. _

that pan bitch: aww you used my nickname for you

angel wings: what else would i call myself 

lancey-lance: what’s it like to be in love

pidgeon: yeah i wouldn’t know

pidgeon: maybe you two and hunk can clarify?

angel wings: i would give the chemical reactions speech but something tells me you already know that

_Ryan Kinkade entered the chat.  
Ryan Kinkade changed their name to camera boy._

idiot: hi kinkade

camera boy: hi griffin

pidgeon: i ship it

aux cord: canon 

rose backwards: gay

_Zethrid entered the chat.  
Zethrid changed their name to lemme smash._

lemme smash: you’re one to talk

lemme smash: i heard you and acxa in the training room last night

rose backwards: fuck off

lemme smash: fuck acxa instead

knife boi: ugh i do not need to know about my sister’s sex life

lancey-lance: that’s what i told veronica when she and catherine started dating, but did she listen?

lancey-lance: sisters never listen

pidgeon: hi sisters

sunshine: hi sisters

camera boy: hi sisters

idiot: okay but how do y’all get your eyeliner so flawless

idiot: especially you, shiro

Shiro: pain and tears

lancey-lance: did you just say y’all

camera boy: he did

idiot: i grew up in arizona okay

lancey-lance: so did keith, but he doesn’t say y’all

knife boi: y’all

lancey-lance: oh come on

_Princess Allura entered the chat.  
Princess Allura changed their name to princess._

princess: is this what you earthlings call texting

princess: it was much more efficient on Altea

_Romelle entered the chat.  
Romelle changed their name to mechanic lady._

mechanic lady: hi everyone

pidgeon: hi romelle

princess: hi romelle

lancey-lance: hi romelle

knife boi: hi romelle

aux cord: what’s up fuckers

pidgeon: acxa nO

aux cord: you said it was an earth meme

lancey-lance: WAIT THERE ARE SPACE MEMES

aux cord: yes

rose backwards: they mostly have to do with killing your enemies

rose backwards: when acxa and i served under diok someone made a meme of him

rose backwards: he went ballistic

mechanic lady: what’s a meme

lancey-lance: OH MY GOD

pidgeon: oh you poor soul

sunshine: even shay knows what memes are

mechanic lady: i’m joking

pidgeon: you’re still a poor soul

pidgeon: a poor gay soul 

mechanic lady: true

Coran Smythe entered the chat.  
Coran Smythe changed their name to royal man.

royal man: hello everyone!

pidgeon: … 

sunshine: hi coran

sunshine: pidge, say hi

pidgeon: i Will Not

lancey-lance: what did coran ever do to you

Shiro: he “borrowed” her screwdriver

aux cord: and broke it

royal man: sorry

pidgeon: acceptable

_Matthew Holt entered the chat.  
Matthew Holt changed their name to shitposter._

shitposter: i stole pidge’s wrench

pidgeon: go away

Shiro: oh god

mechanic lady: you are too much like bandor

mechanic lady: he would steal my things

mechanic lady: and then complain when i could not fix his broken things

princess: i am sorry about your brother, romelle. 

mechanic lady: it is alright

mechanic lady: he lives on in matt

shitposter: is that a compliment

pidgeon: oooh, burn

shitposter: i guess not

lancey-lance: not again

lancey-lance: hey where did everyone go

knife boi: i’m pretty sure acxa and ezor are adulting

sunshine: are you sure they’re not fucking

knife boi: don’t want to think about it

lemme smash: they’re definitely fucking

knife boi: gOD DAMN IT 

pidgeon: where’s your other sister

knife boi: ask her yourself

_Soki Kogane entered the chat.  
Soki Kogane changed their name to that magic bitch._

pidgeon: what is it with this chat and names like “that-blank-bitch”

that pan bitch: yeah change it

_Soki Kogane changed their name to chaos queen._

chaos queen: better?

that pan bitch: yes

angel wings: what the fuck happened while i was out

sunshine: you kiss rizavi with that mouth?

that pan bitch: yes she does

that pan bitch: she also

sunshine: don’t continue that statement

knife boi: please don’t

that pan bitch: fine, keith

knife boi: hey i have a right to my preferences

lancey-lance: wait really

pidgeon: lance you’re literally the last one to know

knife boi: lance i came out at fifteen

knife boi: i fucked rolo for god’s sake

chaos queen: plus why in the name of god would any ogane be straight

sunshine: “ogane”?

chaos queen: i’m including shiro

lancey-lance: ohmygod keith


	2. lance freaks out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains shitty Overwatch references. 
> 
> All of the Overwatch characters are gay, fight me.

_Depresso to Hacker_

depresso: wait keith is gay

hacker: lance i thought hunk told you

hacker: i told you once you had a chance

hacker: just ask him out already

depresso: asdfsagdhjgahjk i can’t

depresso: nobody likes me

depresso: especially not keith

hacker: people like you

hacker: you got a judgemental lesbian princess to think you’re okay

hacker: that’s no easy feat

_lancey-lance entered the chat._

lancey-lance: what did i miss

angel wings: just rizavi begging keith for details about rolo

angel wings: by the way

angel wings: who is rolo

sunshine: he’s an alien rebel we met a while back

sunshine: he worked with matt for a while

pidgeon: he died in action

shitposter: yeah i miss him

that pan bitch: oh

chaos queen: if it’s any consolation, he made it to the astral plane okay

angel wings: there’s an astral plane? jesus

that pan bitch: no he doest exist

lancey-lance: doest

pidgeon: doest

_camera boy entered the chat._

camera boy: she just threw her phone across the room

_Veronica Serrano-McClain entered the chat.  
Veronica Serrano-McClain changed their name to original lesbian._

original lesbian: why is my crew such a mess

camera boy: we’re gay and sad what more do you want

pidgeon: at least you don’t have to interact with straights

lancey-lance: straights are a myth

shitposter: iverson is straight

Shiro: iverson is a myth

pidgeon: a wild shirogayne appeared!

Shiro: you’re not wrong

knife boi: anyone wanna train with me

sunshine: lance does

pidgeon: lance does

lancey-lance: no i don’t

knife boi: too late

aux cord: he needs a sparring partner

lemme smash: done fucking ezor?

aux cord: done fucking narti?

_Narti entered the chat.  
Narti changed their name to cat lady._

aux cord: oh shit oh shit

cat lady: you know, if i could talk you would be on the receiving end of a barrage of sexual description

that pan bitch: they wouldn’t let me do that earlier

cat lady: but you are not six feet tall with a hundred-pound tail and impressive psychic powers. 

that pan bitch: fair point

angel wings: are you challenging my girlfriend

lemme smash: are you challenging my bondmate?

angel wings: i wish humans had bondmates

rose backwards: nah

rose backwards: the ceremony involves cutting an elaborate pattern into each of your palms and mixing your blood together

angel wings: maybe i’ll stick to dating

original lesbian: or just get married

that pan bitch: we’re twenty

original lesbian: and this is war

pidgeon: no, this is patrick

sunshine: THIS IS SPARTA

lancey-lance: help

knife boi: we didn’t train that hard

aux cord: what did you make him do

knife boi: just parkour

aux cord: keith, brother, buddy, 

aux cord: not everyone has galra genes

lancey-lance: yEAH KEITH

chaos queen: who the fuck stole my photon blade

pidgeon: bet you it was matt

mechanic lady: no it was bandor’s ghost

knife boi: i bet it was griffin

idiot: nope not me

idiot: why do you hate me so much

idiot: i apologized for being such a bitch to you in the garrison

knife boi: and i accepted

knife boi: but you have a boy and i’m still single

idiot: excuse me kinkade is a MAN

knife boi: then why does his username have “boy” in it

camera boy changed their name to camera MAN.

knife boi: never mind

pidgeon: wHO THE FUCK-

sunshine: take your time pidge

pidgeon: PROGRAMMED MY GODDAMN COMPUTER

lancey-lance: oh no

pidgeon: TO PLAY DESPACITO

aux cord: tis not i nor ezor

lemme smash: not me

lancey-lance: it was me

lancey-lance: fUCK NO KEITH STole MY PHONe

pidgeon: goddamnit keith

pidgeon: i will now have to spend an hour and a half fixing it

chaos queen: i can help

pidgeon: thanks soki

camera MAN: hey guys i stole ryan’s phone he’s currently getting laid

sunshine: i’m guessing that’s rizavi

camera MAN: yup i broke my phone

angel wings: she dropped it

sunshine: sounds reasonable

angel wings: off of the top of her MFE

angel wings: while trying to juggle it and her keys

pidgeon: rizavi is a memelord

shitposter: lel

pidgeon: never say that again

Shiro: why Matt why

Shiro: you were never this bad as a kid

pidgeon: yes he was

idiot: ...

knife boi: please tell me you’re not going to gloat about kinkade again

idiot: fUCKING RIZAVI

camera MAN: i still have your boyfriend’s phone

camera MAN: and unless you want me to leak his nudes

idiot: fine just

idiot: ugh

knife boi: maybe it’s good that i’m single

aux cord: rizavi is a chaotic neutral

knife boi: since when do you know d&d

aux cord: veronica and catherine introduced me and ezor

original lesbian: yes we did

original lesbian: to lance’s chagrin, they are luckier than him

lancey-lance: wAIT NO

Lancey-lance: don’t tell them

original lesbian: what, about your secret nerdy side?

lancey-lance: delete it please

original lesbian: why, so keith doesn’t see?

aux cord: whoops i told keith already

lancey-lance: fUCK

knife boi: nerd

pidgeon: keith you literally play killbot phantasm 

pidgeon: and fucking overwatch\

pidgeon: as MCCREE

knife boi: he’s one of the holy gays of the game

aux cord: what is overwatch

sunshine: no don’t get him started

knife boi: only the greatest game of the early twenty-first century

knife boi: and FULL of gays

aux cord: show me

lancey-lance: what just happened


End file.
